evil fish April 16, 2008

so, remember when one of my
fish died? 

well, after that the bigger orange
fish in the tank kept chasing the
last little orange fish.  i decided to
discipline this fish.  i will not have
bully fish in my tank! 

i scooped him out of the tank and
put in in a clear container and set
him next to the tank.  he freaked
out a bit and swam furiously in
circles.

“that will teach him to pick at the
other fish,” i thought to myself, with a
satisfied and motherly expression
on my face.

i left him in his ‘time out’ as it were,
for a day and a half.  he started to swim
slower and his scales sort of started to
shed.  clint came over one day and
i explained to him my fish-caring
methods.  he said, “he needs a filter!
he’s not a goldfish.  he needs air!!”
i meant to teach him a lesson, but
instead i was killing him!!!  what kind
of fish-mother am i?!!!??

so i quickly plopped him back into
his tank.  he recovered and didn’t
chase anyone for a while. 

however, it’s hard to rehab an
evil fish.  he started it again.
i didn’t even notice that the last
little orange fish was looking
sickly…i am still not convinced
that he was not sickly at all.

last sunday i woke up and there
was no little orange fish. 
but
there was a little fish
SKELETON
on the bottom of the tank.
now, how could evil orange fish kill
AND EAT
little orange fish in one night?
i do not know. it’s an unsolved mystery.
but it happened.  julie and i were so
dismayed that we didn’t immediately
scoop the bones out of the tank.

the next day…the bones were gone too!!!!!!!
what’s going on in that tank??? 

i don’t even know!! now we have
evil orange fish, strong striped fish,
and bottom dwelling sucker fish.

we’ll see what happens.

i’m sorry i couldn’t protect you
little orange fish.  i failed you.

saddle up April 16, 2008

last saturday was jane wayne day
at the marine corp base.  it’s an
annual event for the wives/girlfriends
/female guests of the marines of 1/3. 
(1st battalion, 3rd marine regiment
…clint’s battalion)

okay, remember in elementary school
when the fire department invites the
kids over to the station? they let them
put on their big yellow pants and hats;
they let them slide down the pole and
take them for a ride around the block
on the truck while the sirens are blaring.
you remember that?  well this is what
jane wayne day was…

except for adult women and
50 times BETTER!!!!!

saturday morning, after a little bit
of maufan (chinese word for annoying
bothersome trouble), i show up at
range 5 wearing clint’s gear. green
uniform: pants, flame resistant undershirt,
and button down pocket covered shirt. 
i had his eye protection in my pocket
and his camelpack on my back.  i was
fitted with a flak jacket (bullet proof vest
that is really heavy) and a helmet. 

clint was the ROS (range safety officer)
for the day so he was not able to hang
with me, but his platoon staff sergeant
(clint’s right hand man) and his wife
took good care of me and let me stick
to their side.

  

first event: shooting range!!
after a safety and weapons handling
brief given by the ROS, we got to
shoot an MK12 sniper rifle, M249 SAW
and M16A4.
(translation: some really big guns)

thankfully my dad took me to the shooting
range in okc when i was home in january,
so i was pumped and ready!!

my favorite was the sniper rifle.  it had a
silencer and was smooth and accurate,
although the machine gun (M249 SAW)
was pretty sweet and loud.  we were in
a prone position on the ground and a marine
got it ready for us, turned off the safety
and we had the freedom to unleash the fury. 

later we got to crawl into some vehicles
with big guns and grenade launchers on top,
and a marine showed us how everything worked. 
we didn’t get to shoot those, but at the end
of this portion they did a demonstration for
us.  lots of huge shells, smoke, and small 
bursts of fire as they hit the target.

after a ride in an armored convoy  we
put our flak jackets and helmets back on
for a ride in an AAV. 
(assault amphibian vehicle)
this was maybe my favorite part.  
there were long sunroof sort of
slots in the top.  we stood on the benches
and stuck our heads out of the top.  
we took off on a path that i highly
doubt was big enough for the vehicle 
because we hit the trees the whole way. leaves
and branches flew in like someone dumped
a back of freshly pruned lawn garbage on
us. then we splashed into a couple of BIG
puddles and got covered in gray muddy water.

i held on for my life and was thankful for my
height.  a little lady got thrown across the
inside of the AAV because she was so short. 
they put her in a special seat on the ride
back. i went again for a second ride!!

i really can’t explain to you how r a d  this
AAV is.  it can monstrously traipse across
any surface on land…AND
it
swims!!!!

yes!  it goes in the water too.  one little
switch and some flaps open up and there
are jets to move it around in the water.
it can go in any depth of water and swim
for as long as it has fuel.  that is the job
i want…driving that thing!!!!  we begged
the marines driving it to take us in the
water, but our feminine charm did not work. 
they like their job too much to loose it for
a bunch of girls who are already taken.

after this we went to the gas chamber and
were gassed.  don’t worry we were wearing
gas masks.  we put them on, made sure we
had a good seal and then went into a cement
box.  they were surprisingly comfortable.
much less claustrophobic than the tb masks
i have to wear at work.  but i think i’d get
pretty tired of it if i had to wear it on a hike. 

one more ride in an armored convoy back
to our starting place and our afternoon was
over. 

it was a

b
l
a
s
t

when is wearing camo not a blast?
when is shooting guns not a blast?
when is riding in an AAV not a blast?
when is wearing 20 (or more) pounds
of bullet proof vest and a hair smashing
helmet not a blast?  (wait!)

as soon as i got in my car and was cruising
down the highway toward home i called
my dad and squealed it all out to him 
in gleeful excitement.  he was so so
JEALOUS

jane wayne day 2008
was
amazing!!!